Shouldn't Miss You

So this weekend just ... feels more stressful than it should. So much more stressful than it should. Like nothing has happened that has me specifically stressed. Yea, yesterday was kind of hectic with the all day radio station handling the high school wrestling matches. Even the boys are all gone so I have an Xbox to myself so I played the shit outta the Destiny Demo for my other brothers.

Then .... BOOM! Thoughts of missing someone who I haven't thought about in a long while but saw on my phone almost daily ....

Shiane!

Just out of the blue. And then I went through the pictures I still had on my on my phone of her and I remember the feelings I have got her came rushing back full force.

Maybe this is just me being upset that this weekend I was suppose to send with Jenn D but she disappeared and won't reply to my txt messages or anything.

This is the second month of the year of my New Year's Resolution and even though I haven't put these girls before me, I am still going through them. Hell, I'm even repeating. Both Jenn D and Shiane were on the list of women who walked off.

These people don't deserve me. I'm a hard worker. I actually try to be compassion and loving and understanding. And yet I'm passed up for douche bags and assholes?! Maybe everyone is suing something that I'm not.

This is seriously sad. That's probably why I'm in such a shitty mood. ;(

Tonight, I think I'm gonna force myself to work again. I need my head on straight.

Maybe I do need my meds ...