Friday, October 30, 2015

Scary Halloween

So Friday, instead of bringing Nakoma with Karla and I to the Haunted House in Philiphsburg, Nakoma went with mom and dad to see Blind Shift in Clearfield and Karla had dinner with her folks. What did I do you ask? Well, Kayla offered to take me to another Haunted House in Beccaria and I took it because CJ had brought a female friend over and James was getting excited ( which usually isn't a good sign ).

So I showered and half way through my hair cut she arrived so it is incomplete. I look like Kid from the movie "Kid N Play" but shorter than the old school eraser head look. But I figured since it was so late and all that no one would notice in a dark haunted house.

The ride to the Haunted House was interesting. She talked less about her past fuck buddies and actually told me about where we were going. When she started taking I realized that I should have taken Spencer's suggestion and do research on where we were going but I felt since it was such short notice that it wouldn't be worth the rush effort. That and it is just a haunted house, right?

Turned out that she actually used to live at this Haunted House when she was a preteen. She wasn't clear if it was actually haunted but she was told a lot off ghost stories about the place when she was younger. The place was built in the 1800 and the Historical Society restored it be functional during the holidays ... especially Halloween.
We got there and I was expecting more people but I was relieved that it wasn't that packed. Kayla knew a guy or two who were dressed up as monsters there. Not really surprising but still a sight annoyance. I've been around people who were "popular" but with Kayla I find it more annoying than flattering or whatever.

Regardless, the house was huge. Like close to, if not exactly, twenty rooms and three stories. The actors portraying demented and psychotic hotel workers and tenants on something they call "Dead and Breakfast" ( a play on "bed and breakfast" ). None of it was really corny. Reminded me of America Horror Story kinda stuff.
Kayla made it an effort to hold me close. Probably to make sure I didn't explore the place independently like I wanted to. I looked at everything like I was investigating a crime scene again. Identifying items of interests and what not. Noticing knives before they were grabbed by the actors and finding trails of blood and analyzing how demented the scene was. And this place was really well planned to be very demented. Pale faces, splattered with blood, with clean clothes ( other than the blood ) and crazy hair. Reminded me of the Devil's Rejects in a way. Really interesting. Really glad it was fake.

Afterwards we chilled for a little while and then she took me home. She wanted to meet the familly even though I explained that the adults were out with the event. She came in and I tried to treat her as much as a "just friend" girl as possible. I didn't need the extra hassle of my brothers ( and potentially dad ) and she got the hint and was doing the same thing. However, after she left, she seemed to have done too well of a job and now my brothers ( at least CJ doesn't like her ). I suppose that is okay for the moment. If she ends up being more long term then ... she'll make up for the behavior of that night. If not that she is no worse for wear.

I am not sure what I am going to do with her. If she is just someone who is currently there or if there is some sort of deeper meaning for her existence in my life. Do I want her in my life? I am not talking permanently or anything like that but more of a "is she useful" as  Spencer would ask of person that is introduced into not just my life but our lives. I allow myself to be a little more understanding and compassionate ( thank you earlier version of Jasmine ). People aren't just to be used and then thrown away when no longer useful. That isn't how people should be.

At the same time, you shouldn't have people in your life that suck up what they can from you be it attention, love nor money without some sort of equivalent exchange. Kayla satisfy a certain level of companionship that I don't mind at the moment but at the back of my mind, I do have to remember that she is an ex-girlfriend ... who dumped me at that.I shouldn't be so desperate for companionship that I am willing to fall into the same trap that I did years ago.

But I am all about second chances, aren't I?

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Getting Out of Jail ... Again

It has been a while since I last updated and I have a lot to update.

Well, first off all, Monday, September 14th, I got arrested sometime in the afternoon. It turns out that while I was paying Lynnanne during the 2-3 months I was living with her, not only was she not paying the rent but she was not paying my fines either.

Why was she paying for everything for me? Well, I am on medication ( I have been since ... 2010 or 11 ) and even when I was in jail, they gave me what they could afford ( because the correctional system does their best to pay as little as possible ), but when I got released they refused to give me my meds, telling me to go and get a doctor to subscribe me meds. Well, the medical system works that you have to see a therapist for about a month before you even get to even see the psychiatrist and then you have to wait for things to be approved ( so they know you aren’t abusing stuff ) so the process for that is like 2 months ... and that is after you wait to get insurance and since I don’t have an official job so no insurance for that so I have get welfare health care for the month. And on top of that, the first 2-3 I was in State College, getting things done and then Lynnanne kicked me out for going to the Theory of a Deadman and I moved in with mom ( Sue ) and dad ( Chuck ). So having all that transferred over was a headache and a half whenever you are “right in the head” and without my medication I am not exactly ... always there.

Anyways, she didn’t pay my fines so I was arrested. Luckily, mom was home and she was able to find out what was going on and what needed to be done. Call dad, call my PO and the Judge to see what can be worked out, etc, etc.

Being back in jail wasn’t bad. I didn’t go back to a block. Because they know of my mental health condition and I return without medication, they had to keep me in insolation. But the jail was over filled, so for the first day I was in holding on a mattress and the second day I was in the Multi-Purpose Room ( gym ) and the third day, they put me in Detox ( which is this jail’s isolation room ). I talked to mom on the first visitation day and she broke down that with this particular fine and because the Judge doesn’t seem to care much for me, he wants me to pay the whole amount compared to what is due or making arrangements.

The amount was $560. And it is the middle of the month. No one had that kind of money and I didn’t get paid for another two weeks. I told her that since I spent years in prison time before my last 10 1/2 month incarceration a few months ago, that 2 weeks would a breeze. She said that she and dad would do as much as they can but they have been struggling too. I wasn’t worried. Two weeks and I will have them pay it from my account and I will not have to worry about this particular fine.

The first few days I slept each day, all day. The third or fourth day I was all slept out so I started to talk to the C.O.s that all seem to remember me. I asked for paper and a pen to write and boy did I write! I wrote something of like 10 pages of things that I wanted to do and take care of when I get released on the 1st of September and some other things I wanted to get done by the New Year ( more on that later ).

Anyways, on the 25th of September, a C.O. comes in and tells me to pack my shit. My first response was, “Where am I moving to now?” and he goes “You getting out, man! Home free!” I look at him sideways because this particular CO was the same douche that let me and my old cellie sit in a flooded cell full of shit water for like 2 hours because our toilet clogged and overflew.

I got out to booking and I got them to let me make a phone call so I called Sue because I am sure that she must have had a hand in getting me out a few days earlier than expected. She was happy to hear from me yet she expected me to call today. I asked her how did I get out and she hesitated but she eventually told me ...

My Biological Mother ( BioMom ) paid my fine to get me out.

When I went into jail, dad tried to talk to people ( whom he knew I knew ... which is a fraction from people that “US” know ) and one of them was BioMom. She worked her magic that Spencer says that she has always been good at doing to win over mom and dad ( Chuck and Sue ) and she paid my fine for me to get out.

Was I pissed? Extremely. And when dad came to pick me up, I let him know that he shouldn’t have done that and that there could be consequences to this action. He tried to have me explain how I felt and I tried to explain the little I know from my “brothers” and from what was on the files that have been gathered over the years on the Biologicals. He was reasonable. Not saying that I was wrong or lying but that there could be some misconception and misunderstanding since the woman on the phone with them who claimed to be BioMom was nice and educated and seemed to be a caring mother who misses the prodigal son.

I almost feel for it until Spencer recalled his experience and the experience of the others. It is hard pressed who to believe because my brothers have always been there for me and rarely ever lead me astray. But I have picked my family. Hopefully this one lasts longer than the last one ...

Also, I know where my concentration has to be. I have to work on me for the next few months until after the New Years. A lot has to happen and I have to work on it - priority number one right now.

The good thing is that Dad said that he is glad that everything worked out the way it did because Nakoma ( Sue’s Daughter so my Little Sister ) ‘s birthday was today. Dad said that she told them that “No matter what you do for my birthday, it means nothing since Nick isn’t here!” so they didn’t tell her that I am coming home to be a surprise to her. That seriously made me the happiest person alive, no doubt.

So I came home, surprised her and we parties in the back yard with a few of her friends and Dad’s bosses, Michael and Diana. We had pizza and cake and soda and all kinds of stuff that breaks my diet and whatnot but it was worth it after a week and a half of jail food!