Monday, August 17, 2015

Running Busy

OLast week, I ran to Clearfield to see about getting food stamps but I wanted to see some friends though and help out.  Ya knew try to remind myself that I used to be useful and loved.

My ride down was my ex girlfriend Kayla.  She recognized the area so picking me up was easy. On the 20 minute drive we talked. . . Well she talked about her post jobs and the men she's been with in the past 2-3 years we haven't talked.  I didn't want to tell her about the jail or the psych ward or the reason I lost everything. 

We got to Clearfield and I was suppose to help my 2nd brother, Danny and his mother Tina move from their stuff into the U-Haul.  However,  the voice in my head ( whom I called James ) wanted to spend some time with Kayla.  It made sense to spend some time with someone who doesn't completely hate us.

So we spent the night . . . Remembering why we got together to beginning with and why we eventually broke up.  Memory road . . . Isn't it wonderful?

The next day, Danny replied to the messages I left for him on Facebook and I'd made my way to where Danny and his mom lived. He had a small U-Haul but we played Tetris with boxes, dressers,  mattresses and fish tanks. A girl Sahra and her husband Ryan helped but Ryan has to leave to watch their two kids.  We all had fun and worked hard to move but we didn't finish until lol 9 - 10 at night. I got some of my stuff from Danny s possession like my computer tower and he gave me a new small desktop computer and a glass chess play set.

Standing next to Sahra seeing Danny and Tina leave the apartment in the complex I realized that I was seeing my best friend,  my gaming buddy, my brother leave across state.  It felt like the end of an era.  So many memories that we shared and more there will not be anymore memories with him.

I started to realize that the reasons for me to even come to this town of broken memories were dwindling. People have either moved out or moved on or gained family ( which usually involves more privacy ) or there's bad blood.  Made me think of never coming back ... ever.

Sahra invited me to come over and eat with Ryan and Dom ( their oldest toddler ). They served me steak,  corn and attempted cake but I was stuffed street two big steaks lol

Sahra took me out back for a smoke.  She told me her life story as of recently.  Some drama and his and dreams for the future that I happily listened to.  I noticed she was a nice girl. James kept saying that she was trying to come on to us so when she offered to walk me home, I virtually had to push her back to her house.  I already caved into his impulses once this week.  I am trying to keep it to a minimum. Idk. Trying to be better than I am I guess. 

I walked back to Danny's old apartment because he allowed me to spend the night since the key had to be returned in the morning but I wanted to see my adopted daughter Tyra and her mother Tammy so I grabbed the 50lbs computer tower, a bag of clothes Kayla gave me,  a bag of posters and the glass chess play set and I walked what should have taken me 30 minutes but it took me 2 hours since it was a lot of go a block or two then switch hands or put the tower on my head for easy transport. 

I finally got to Tammy's house a little after midnight.  When I got I'm Tammy told me that Tyra was at a friend's place.  I was disappointed but I was exhausted so in mid speak I got naked and jumped in the shower because I feel comfortable enough with Tammy that she'll behave herself.  Took a shower and passed out on her bed.

I woke up in the morning and Tammy had to run errands all day so I had to find another place to be so I jumped on Facebook and talked to Brandi.  She said that I could but she lived in Hyde which is a five minute drive but an hour and minute walk (that's without mistakes). Took me 75 minutes.

When I got to their apartment in Hyde I was drenched.  Got a quick shower and changed shirt. Then I hung out on the front porch with Brandi comparing their new compound to the old one.  They got rules in Hyde that Lawrence Park Village never had.  We watched her three kids play with the other kids in the apartment complex until Matt came home from work.  Then I tried to fix their laptop that was running slow and then they served me chicken, potatoes, corn and stuffing. Then Matt drove me back to Clearfield telling me about his Subaru Legacy and that he is gonna sell it for 3k. I told him that I'd consider buying it from him before tax season.

In Clearfield, I told him to drive me to Jenn's place and  Bradley and Jenn took me to Chinese ( even though I told Jenn that I already ate ). What I was able to hold I'm was good but afterwards James puked and pooped so I was hungry afterwards.

We came back and got the things ready for camping in the backyard since Jenn s parents kinda hate me ( supposedly for just being born black ... and leaving Jenn before when I went to Clarion to try to get back to school ... oh,  and because I went to jail ... twice ). So we hung out on the grow and talked about random shit.  Almost nothing specific.  A lot of revisited themes thanks to Jenn but fun time had regardless.

The next day we waited for her parents to go to work and got inside to see about a cell phone she said she had for me since Lynn took mine when I left. That particular one ended up not working so she gave me a cracked Galaxy S III which is 10x better than my last phone.

We hung out for a while but I didn't want to be there all day so I tried to find somewhere else to be.  Preferably someplace that someone drives and actually has a car. My friend Brea was a few blocks away but I was not sure where.  Jenn gave me directions but when I followed them I kinda ended up somewhere else so I said Fuck It and started towards my appointment at the Assistance Office.

When I got there I was, once again, drenched and on the way to the bathroom I saw another ex girlfriend,  Stephanie.  I didn't drop a step. I kept walking to the bathroom.  I used the bathroom and changed shirts.  Came out looking nice as fuck I'm telling You right now.

I didn't give her the time of day because one of the reasons for me coming to Clearfield was her and she stopped responding and everything once I came to Clearfield so my mind was "Fuck Her". I could tell she was trying to check me out throughout her stay until she left. She left and I took care of my business and I left. . . Feeling pretty Damn Good about myself.

While walking downtown I started to realize that I was running outta places and people to hang out with so I needed to find a place where I got Wi-Fi which was downtown Clearfield at the library to get a hold of Mom and Dad and tell them what happened at the Assistance Office.  I then messaged Tammy and she said that Tyra was home was I walked over to see Tyra. I stayed for a while and then Beth Ann and Jess messaged me and wanted to hang out. I left Tammy s place to hang out with the falls for a while before my friend Savannah came to pick me up and take me home. 

Busy week.  Fun week.  Crazy week.