Okay, so I am freaking out a little bite. Jasmine went to get my ring today for the wedding. Yeah, I know the wedding is next week but it is very fucked up all together cuz of WalMart but … yeah.
Anyways, she comes back and I asked her how much was left over of the hundred and she said like 30 cuz she didn’t get me the ring that I told her to get. This morning, I have her the pamphlet and told her to get one of the two. I would have been happy with one of the two that I picked out for myself. Matter of fact, it took me a while to pick the right ring since I actually care about something that I am gonna wear for a long, long time. Well the rings I picked out were not really expensive since I like simplicity. So I asked her why what happened to the rest of the money. She said that she bought me a surprise ring.
I hate surprises. I hate surprises. Oh did I mention that I hate surprises. I understand life has its own share of surprises but even those I do my best to prepare for. Yeah, it sounds crazy and whatnot but it is what I do. I do my best to prepare for whatever is thrown at me but I still hate surprises. She knows this. I’ve repeated this many, many times.
So now I am on the verge of hyperventilating because … am I making the right choice here. I mean, it seems like something Jenn would do and I wanted to blow off my own head with her stupid surprises. I do not want to be surprised with a pink ring or something with hearts. I spent weeks to pick out the right ring for me and she just spit on that.
But I can’t bring this to her. She seems so happy about this surprise. That and it would just have us arguing. But my gawd I’m on the verge of breaking down here. I am terrorified that … maybe … I don’t know. Gawd, I need a smoke. I need to shot someone. I need … I’m stepping out. Later.