In a few hours will be the new year, and I have nothing. Not saying that I have nothing but I am saying that I don't have a new year's resolution. It's to tell you the truth I'm very comfortable where I am. Years ago, I simply wanted to be able to live on my own. To be independent from anybody. To make it on my own. But that was from another life. Now I'm married, I have a son, I have a stepdaughter, my own apartment and steady income. What more can be explored? What else is there for me to do?
Before I was so driven to get to a comfortable position in life. But now that I'm kind of here, I don't know where to go next.
As always, I'm still in contact with Paris, and we still talk about things that we should be doing. We had this idea to start up our own business. I'm leaning more to customer service with computers as he leans more toward some manufacturing of products. I don't know if it's going to lead to anything lead but it's still good idea to come up with new ideas and ideals.
In all honesty I don't know what to do. I don't even know what I'm doing now is satisfactory to my own standards. I'm learning to be a better father, a better husband, a better person. I believe that! I know I have a lot of improvement to make but I am willing to make it. But once again the problem arises, that I don't know what to do. I don't know what needs improvement because I'm so comfortable where I am now and that is my problem.
Maybe my new year's resolution is to keep things stable. To not fall off the wagon. To stay faithful to my wife. To become a better father to my son. To understand society better as a whole rather than sum of its parts. And to take better care of myself. So more or less keeping the status quo.
If past years I've always been inspired to do more. To make a radical changes in my life. But those past resolution is never came to fruition. Maybe I need to start from scratch, start small. Maybe if I'm able to make this one year without screwing up, then I can try to do more. But for right now, it's baby steps and small goals
Here is to the new year. Many things only get better from here.