Saturday, December 19, 2015

Being Haunted

So, dad and me are driving around picking up Christmas gifts from sponsors of Magnum Broadcasting and that had us eventually to State College. We are delivering the gifts to the Youth Service program out whatever and while getting the gifts from the SUV, I saw a couple walking by. 

Nothing strange about setting couples together. I see couples all the time. All the time. And it was not really seeing this couple that has me shell shocked or on the verge of an panic attack or a PTSD incident.

The girl ... instant memories of Jasmine. The girl didn't even look like Jasmine in the face but the body type was spot on and even if her face didn't look like Jasmine, she looked like a Jasmine.

And this doppelganger had a guy that the original Jasmine ( my Jasmine ) would have dated before me. 

Probably the type of guy she is dating now.

My phone was in the SUV so no pictures but it wouldn't have mattered really because I don't anyone rise would have seen what I've seen. Hell, maybe I didn't really see it. For all I know I might have imagined it. All in my head.

But then again, isn't everything?

Now I'm shaken and stirred. Haunted again like I was in jail. Seeing her in people, at places ... things reminding me of her. Haunted once again. And it kills me that the cycle is starting again.

This might be one of the reasons I don't explore outside. The previous versions probably had the same problem. Something traumatic happened and they couldn't handle it so the opted out.

Tamika and friends with Theo was they most obvious.
The MadImageInc Crew and this Aurora girl with Michael.
Teresa with Spencer.
The project community with Danny.
Even Seth had Sakura and his daughter.

People from our separate past lives that lays behind us as reminders of failures and heartache.

And yet they got to leave. Go back to Haven